I feel most blessed when I am sitting in my room at home. Because today is the sixth day since I was infected with covid. I had taken covid vaccine so the disease did not affect me in a big way. I thought I should write something because today is a blessed day.
I have not spoken to my God for the past five or six days. In the meantime I was on my knees once but could not fully surrender my mind to God. There were various struggles going on with the mind. Because a thought had entered my mind. I will tell you what that thought is in the later part .
This morning I remembered my old habits. Until a few years ago I had no worries or sorrows when I was alone.At that time I used to go to church two days a week, where I would sincerely sing and play the music keyboard. I can not describe the peace I feel when I get home after that. The sorrows I had at that time never affected me. I was happy with my mind no matter what the sorrows were.
But in my current situation I can’t go to the church which is very sad for me. I am now trying to worship God with my mind where I am. But for the past few days I have not been able to pray or worship anything. The devil put some problems in my mind. Hatred, revenge, and anger brought these feelings to mind to do all this to someone who had hurt me. Because of my weakness, I sat down for various thoughts. I have no peace of mind thinking so. But I had peace when I submitted my problems to God and prayed. I know that even if the enemy destroys me, humiliates me, or steals my happiness and wealth, even if the world denies,that my God will be with me, I know that my God will never reject me. I Won’t Fight My Enemies Because God Will Fight for me.
I know that my God was with me even when I was going through my tough situations. God was with me when I made my wrong decisions, thoughts and actions. I know God listens to me and I can only apologize to my God.
God have mercy on me.
I do not know what the path is in front of me but my prayer is that God will take my hand and show me the way. My prayer is that God show me the responsibilities I have to do in this world.
O God I put my broken heart before you. God, do what is best for me.