I don’t know how to forget you. Every day is a big challenge for me. I wish I had a single time I am not remembering you. What a nice joy it was when we were together. You were the only one in my world. I thought you would never leave me. I thought I loved you so much. My pain turned to joy when I saw your joy. You were the only one in my mind wherever I went. I loved buying gifts for you to see your joys. I enjoyed the food you made. Even if it’s the food I don’t like, I like it when you make it. I cannot love anyone else like this with all my heart. I thought you would be with me all my life. I thought you should have no friends other than me. Many times I could not tell you how much I love you. My biggest dream was our children and our joys. To be honest, I don’t even know what the goal ahead is anymore. I only had goals when you were with me. What I was most happy about when I traveled was that you were with me and did not depend on where I was going. I was glad to see you when I woke up. I have a name you gave me and I am terribly happy when you call me by that name. I love to watch you eat your favorite food. The joy we had between us was nowhere to be found. I have even prayed that I would not die so that grief does not come into your life. I have prayed that you will never be alone. I want you at least once to understand how much I love you. I even come to the kitchen to help with you because I can not see you suffering. I can’t stand even a thorn falling on your body. I do not care if you hurt me in any way because I can not hate you. If you say no to me, I can not say no to you. I love to walk with you. .Love hurts me when you are not with me. I do not know what the paths in front of me now. I’m trying to run to you when there is thunder and lightning. I know you’re scared. Now all the way to reach you is closed. Now I can’t even hear your voice because of our distance. I do not know how to live without seeing and hearing you. When I was sending you my message, I was taking my heart out. I know the door of your heart is closed. That is why you cannot see or understand my messages. Yet my messages will be in front of you forever and when you open the door to that heart you will understand everything. Maybe you hate me more than you love me and that too is an emotion. As long as you have those feelings, you can’t leave me either. But I do not even know if you have such feelings for me. My love is honest. Only you have the power to live in my mind after my God. I hope you will understand my love one day.
CANA 