Distance of love

At some point I do not know how to live. I had a lot of goals in my life. But a few days ago those goals went out of my mind. It was these goals that drove my life forward. I got my life partner in my life as I dreamed and she had a lot of dreams like me. We were holding hands and walking towards that goal. We faced a lot of suffering and grief together. Whatever it was, we were praying to God together. We were happy with all sorts of suffering because we were in love. At some point we didn’t even have money on hand. We overcame all problems with love. We did a lot of trips together. We have seen many amazing sights together. Once when we were traveling in a car together, I suddenly fell asleep. Suddenly she called me and when I opened my eyes our car was in front of a truck. We went through moments like that together. When she was with me, I believed I was a perfect human being. Her happiness was everything to me. So I gave her a lot of gifts. She had to stay away from me because of some problems and then I experienced a lot of the happiness that comes from meeting her again. I never wanted her to stand apart from me. My heart ached as she stood away from me. At first, she was 350 km away from me. Later we had to stand 13000 km apart. Yet I thought our hearts were together. Then when I met her, she started having her own privacy. Before leaving long distance so there was not even privacy or secret between us and everything would talk. I trusted her a lot and I thought she would never go wrong. I used to send her money every month. Because of Covid19, we had the opportunity again to stand together. We have not been able to see each other directly for a year because of covid19. I was eagerly waiting for her to see. I bought her all her favorite food and all her favorite snacks. I was thinking of spending a lot of time with her. I cannot describe the joy I felt when I saw her. I was very possessive at that time. Later she left me saying she had a ten-day job. It’s been four months since I last saw her. My heart broke after she left and then I saw many things on her social media and it broke me again. Yet I forgive and love her. Sunday is usually a very happy day for us. We would pray together and make food together. I was so sad now when I suddenly thought she was not with me today. Suddenly I thought about my dreams and goals. The last thing I wanted to see in my goal and dream was my wife’s face and her eyes. My goals and dreams can only be happy if she with me. For me, love is my wife.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18